Keeping Coffee as a Healthy Habit and Not a Daily Requirement

When coffee is both a ritual and a drink I enjoy, how can I reap its benefits whilst keeping on the straight and narrow when it comes to its addictive properties?

Coffee.

So many people drink it.
So many people have benefitted from it.
So many people have suffered because of it.

I really enjoy my cup of morning coffee. I relish and value the ritual of making and drinking the coffee; weighing to the nearest gram, cranking my vintage Spong grinder, along with watching and listening to the Moka pot, hoping it’s a good one today. Learning about coffee and its turbulent history is fascinating. I like supporting independent roasteries and enthusiastic baristas. I like to hope that some of my money will get back to the subsistence farmers who grow it. I like to write about coffee and how it helps me in my writing.

I just really like coffee.

To the humble Coffea arabica bush and its dedicated growers, I’m grateful.

It would have been a very different journey and outcome, on this blog for example, without the coffee.

But I have a problem and it’s one I need to nip in the bud if I am to prevent it from becoming a more pressing issue. My coffee consumption is on the verge of becoming a daily requirement and not a healthy habit.

Where it all started

Coffee first really came into my life when I first had my daughter. In those long initial days, being the sole food source for her day in and day out, was a challenge. Coffee was my special treat. I would choose the time to have it carefully. I didn’t want to have one too close to breastfeeding because, well, although research is surprisingly scant, it’s logical to me that at least some caffeine will make it into breast milk.

It used to take me hours to drink a cup because I got sidetracked into paying a little personal attention. I even bought myself a thermal cafetiere after my glass one smashed. I got into trying different coffees, realising that I liked some flavours more than others. Time moved on and I would naturally wake up an hour earlier than my daughter and that hour would be my special coffee time. I would sit on the sofa and curl up with the cats with my special cup. Perhaps I would read a book or watch some YouTube videos.

But then my daughter started getting up earlier…and became mobile…and more demanding…and well, became a toddler… and now a pre-schooler with opinions and needs which seem to grow as fast as she does.

I used to have a healthy relationship with my morning cup of coffee

At this time, I used to be able to argue that I had a healthy relationship with coffee. I would not have a cup more than two out of every three days, and no more than about three days a week.

I can feel some of you reading this squirm; why does this matter and why should I care? Three cups of coffee a week, why is this even worth discussing?

Well, it’s not all about the fact that it’s coffee. It’s more that I had a good habit, I set boundaries and now I’ve strayed from them. I mean, how often does that happen time and time again with other aspects of our daily lives? If I can use this as a learning opportunity to get back on track with a habit, what helpful insights can I gain for other aspects of my life …

… like actually doing some exercise? 😫

How my habit started to break down

I still have a generally healthy relationship with coffee, but it is not as disciplined as it once was. The days of the week when I don’t have coffee have diminished to one, maybe two. I’ve noticed my morning cup creeping into the ‘I need it to function category’ and I need to work out how to proactively take myself back onto the path.

The trouble is post-baby phase, I get up at 5 am. I’ve always had a ‘side hustle’ or whatever you want to call it; I call it a ‘personal project’. I had a shop on Etsy selling postage stamps for a while. I actually made enough to have it as 50% of my income for a couple of years. To make sure I get enough time to ‘fulfil’ what I want to do, I need protected time in the day to work. I.e. time when someone isn’t asking me to play with them every minute…

I’ve actually had a blog in some guise for around 10 years, but it’s only in the last 6 months that I’ve done it ‘productively’. Between 5.30 am and 7 am is my special personal project time. There is only limited time in the morning before my daughter gets up so I need a bit of a jump start to get things going quickly.

Cue, coffee.

Coffee helps me start the day off efficiently and productively. I enjoy the creative state my brain goes into once the caffeine seeps in. This was not something I had fully appreciated when I first set guidelines and started drinking coffee on a semi-regular basis.

Why is it a problem?

The amount of coffee I drink is not harmful. Research seems to ping pong between coffee being good and coffee being bad for us. It falls into the same category as red wine and chocolate; moderation is key, but some every now and then is a good thing. In fact, when my husband had low blood pressure, the doctor suggested he drink some tea or coffee to help increase it.

However, there’s no beating around the bush, caffeine, of which coffee contains enough to alter our body’s response to tiredness, is a drug. It’s not a bad drug per se, but it’s not one to take lightly. Withdrawal symptoms include headaches, cranky moods, and lethargy (<- I’m not a doctor, but I think these are well enough known).

But it’s more of a problem for me because I set myself a habit and I strayed from it. With the wrong mindset, my coffee-drinking habit could quickly descend into an abyss that is challenging to get out from.

I want to ask you this question, do you have a healthy coffee-drinking habit or is it a daily requirement? (The same applies to tea, I might add.)

I set myself boundaries so I don’t become dependent on that caffeine boost first thing in the morning. I do it because I want to make sure I appreciate it and don’t take it for granted. I want to look forwards to the ritual of making the coffee. I want to fully harness the productivity benefits that come from the release of adrenaline in my body. But I want to be able to still start my day (and brain) whenever I can and not have to rely on that coffee.

I’ve always drunk strong coffee. I would have a full cup of espresso if it wasn’t for the heart palpitations afterward! Someone else please agree that a 3-cup moka pot is actually for 1 cup? As time has gone on my coffee has gotten stronger and the volume larger. And with it, my habit was weaker and my resilience smaller.

This scenario I find myself in has repercussions for being able to maintain healthy habits more generally. The more I practice keeping to habits, the better I will get. Regular practice and effort will bear fruit in the long run. If I can’t sustain this habit, what hope do I have for others?

What can I do to continue with a good habit and not stray?

Like many people who are reading this, I’ve read James Clear’s book on atomic habits. I know what it takes to form a good habit and keep it. But I can’t help but feel something is slightly different, or more challenging when the very thing you are doing has something about it that is working against you; a substance designed to make you want more.

Ideas to maintain a healthy relationship with coffee

Writing and coffee are closely intertwined for me. Coffee helps me think and writing does the same. So here I have written some ideas I’ve had, post-coffee, to help keep on the straight and narrow:

• Don’t get up at 5 am on the days I don’t have a coffee or, conversely, don’t have coffee on the days I don’t get up at 5 am
• Take a few weeks or a month off having coffee to completely break the cycle
• Strictly restrict the number of days a week I have coffee e.g. 3 or 4, 1 off 1 on, 2 on one-off…
• Try decaffeinated coffee as a means to replicate the process or ritual but without the caffeine
• Do something other than brain work at 5 am like cleaning, tidying, a walk or even reading
• I normally sit in my pyjamas while I write (a bad habit indeed) so maybe having a shower first whilst listening to a podcast could be an alternative ‘wake-up’ call
• Don’t write at 5 am in the morning, maybe try the evening instead

I also wrote some not-so-helpful ideas like ‘soldier through and deal with the fact that I need coffee to function first thing in the morning.’ I shan’t include any more of those.

I also want to set some absolute boundaries that I must not cross. “Thou shall not pass” as Gandalf said. I think these are the ones that I will maintain and as yet, have not broken. At least not broken enough to be concerned about…

• No coffee after 12 pm and only 1 in a day
• At least 1 day a week when I do not have one
• I must appreciate the ritual
• I must respect its heritage, the growers, and its producers

Since variety is the spice of life, I think the answer may lie in using a variety of these ideas. But they did get me thinking, am I missing the point?

Why do I drink coffee?

The answer to that question has changed. At first, it was a special treat, but now it is because it is to help me think while I am working or writing.

So is that where the issue actually lies?

Perhaps keeping a habit on the straight and narrow is about considering the why rather than the how?

Don’t get me wrong I enjoy coffee, as I hope you will have gathered by now, but the reason it is slipping away from being a healthy habit is not that I enjoy it too much. It’s not because I don’t appreciate it.
In this case, it’s actually a means to an end. It’s intertwined with something else. And because it is intertwined with something else, it makes those initial reasons more difficult to follow.

And for me now, just like exercise is a means to being healthy, coffee is a means to me having a successful blog.

Perhaps if I accept coffee as a thing unto itself, then writing is something that should happen anyway. Coffee doesn’t write a blog. Just as exercise doesn’t always make you healthy. They just tend to co-occur. I guess others may call it enjoying the process. But then the two are still dependent on one another. I wonder if the trick is to separate them entirely. Coffee is coffee and writing it writing. Exercise is exercise and healthy is healthy.

A habit, when intertwined with a greater vision is therefore a means to an end. But what if the habit, to keep it, should be the purpose?

In other words, if I am struggling with a habit, how can I change the means, to get the same end? Or how can I change the end, so I retain the means I actually want?

So perhaps it’s not about fixing the coffee drinking per se, it is about altering my way of thinking about why I drink coffee.
In this respect, I do not need coffee to make a successful blog. If I change up how I do things, or my expectations around this end goal, perhaps the coffee will fall in line too, of its own entirely separate accord?

Just a little food, or drink, for thought…